Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
