I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
