I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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