Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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