I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
