I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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