you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
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I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
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Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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