Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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