I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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