nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
