Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
my poor anus
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
