you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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