Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
