Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
