i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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