i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
