She's JV to your varsity
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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