My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
