This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
