the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Randomize
