wanna go halves on a baby?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
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