youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
