census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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