Are we in a gay sports bar?
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
