Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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