Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just googled if crying burns calories
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize