Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Gay?
German.
Pity.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
