That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
