If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
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Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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