we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
