Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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