Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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