can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
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the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
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Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.