Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.