I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
