Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
