you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
