i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize