Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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