dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
