so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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