A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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