and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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