How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
