...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
