I think my vagina is haunted
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You're like the curious george of whores
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
