its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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