some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
