Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
