Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
