after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
