How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
