Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
