remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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