I'm lost and stupid without you.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
