it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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