Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
