Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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