Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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