i love accidental penises.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
BRING THE BAGELS
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
