My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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