After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
