Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
