I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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