i may or may not be watching the land before time
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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