I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
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After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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