Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(514): View more from Quebec

i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk

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(816): View more from Missouri

Absence makes the cock grow harder.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.

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(510): View more from California

Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.

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(740): View more from Ohio

As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.

(303): View more from Colorado

Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?

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(954): View more from Florida

If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..

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