Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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