Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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