Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
