dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Randomize
